People keep asking me what I think of the royal engagement between William and Kate.
And I shrug my shoulders and smile.
Because I don’t think about them much.
Not because I am negative. Or think they’re a poor match.
They seem perfectly nice people.
She is enviably skinny with long legs I would trade my laptop for. He needs to get married before he loses all his hair.
But apart from that, I can’t relate to them. At. All.
I didn’t get married until I was 34.
So the idea that two people would meet at nineteen, date exclusively for, like, nine years, then get married is a completely alien concept to me.
What about dating other people?
I read, in some evolutionary psychology book I forget the name of, that one of the developmental stages of young adulthood is to date.
The purpose of this is to determine, basically, how attractive you are to the opposite sex.
Or as my husband puts it, to find out into which weight class you fall.
Each acceptance and rejection is feedback as to our desirability factor. And it behooves us as young, fertile, hormone-laden people to know this so we choose the best mate with whom to mix our genes.
I’ve also read that if we skip a stage in our development, we often seek to catch up later which causes all sorts of problems once you’ve been hooked up for some years, mingled your genes, acquired some progeny and only then decided you should’ve dated that cute boy in AP Biology after all.
We all know people who’ve done that.
I even know some people who’ve hooked up with their high school sweethearts in middle age via Facebook (another concept I can’t relate to at all.)
I found dating to be incredibly dull.
Such a low return on investment in time laid out.
So I’ve given my kids the benefit of my advice.
Don’t get married until you’re thirty, don’t have kids until after that.
Which, I’m sure is no surprise to you to learn, is exactly what I spent my time doing.
The idea I would marry and spend the rest of my life with someone I met at nineteen is an incredible one to me.
And so I don’t really have an opinion on William and Kate’s engagement, or Kill’em and Wait as I affectionately call them, because I can’t.
I don’t know how.
Do you think nineteen is too early to pick a mate? What do you tell your kids about dating life choices? Do we hanker after a wilder life later if we didn’t have one first time around? Let me know in the comments!
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