{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

Joanna November 23, 2010 at 12:45 pm

Hehe… I like the nicknames! Personally, I don’t think that 19 is too early to find a mate. I think it’s too early to get married, but I don’t think it’s too early to have met them. Of course, I met my husband when I was 21. We were married when I was 22 and had our son the day after I turned 23.

I didn’t date a lot. Ever. I think William and Kate have dated more people during their on-again off-again relationship than I did my entire ilfe. And I’m ok with that. I can’t imagine the stress they have being a celebrity couple, and I would never ask for it myself.

Personally, I had a wild enough life early on. I don’t hanker for anything wilder. I work instead of being more boring now. 🙂
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Alison Golden November 23, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Hi Joanna:
Yes, I totally understand the desire to be boring now. The more stay-at-home I am, the better. 🙂

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Glynis Jolly
Twitter:
November 23, 2010 at 2:27 pm

Some people are ready for marriage at 16. Really! I have a cousin who married that young. Her husband and her are now in their 60s and their marriage is still strong and vibrant. Then there are the ones like me who got married at 20, divorced at 22, and didn’t find the right match until I was 36.

As far as being wild or not, I do think the wild ones make better partners early in life just because of all they have been through. They seem to be more tolerant of the way others think and act.
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Alison Golden November 23, 2010 at 4:56 pm

Hi Glynis:

Hmmm, wild. I guess it depends what kind of wild. I think the situation of W&K is so unique that nothing the rest of us experience has any relevance to them other than what they themselves believe. I just can’t imagine what it must be like for them. Kind of wild life and boring at the same time (all those functions.)

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Keturah November 23, 2010 at 8:25 pm

I just found your blog and thought I would comment.

I’m female, 27 years old and single. I have never been on a date, and I’ve only been asked out twice in my life. (Neither man was a decent suitor.) I’m not unattractive, weird or socially inept. I just don’t seem to attract men, at least not any man who wants to ask me out. Considering my lack of experience, I will probably act like a 19 year-old when I do go out on my first date. (Ha!)

With that disclaimer made, I know some very young couples (19 and early 20s) and they are doing well. However, they seem to exist in an exclusive bubble that only includes themselves and other young married couples. They forget that there is much more to the world outside of being consumed with marriage to each other. Every. Spare. Second. The couples I know that were married later in life, while just as deeply in love as the younger couples, seem to believe other people exist outside of their spouse and seem to live more interesting lives, both as couples and individuals.

I don’t know what I would tell my kids. I do think I have had many worthwhile and enriching experiences as a single young adult. However, I think we sometimes prolong marriage too long in our current culture. All in all, it depends on the persons involved. I’ve read both sides of the argument but I haven’t reached an opinion I’m comfortable with.

As for “Kill’em and Wait” (you are absolutely hilarious with your wit, including your hair loss comment about Will!), I have to agree with you: their situation is unique. Their lives are not relevant to anyone else’s. But I am happy they are getting married. They seem well suited for each other.

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Keturah November 23, 2010 at 8:25 pm

P.S. Forgive my lengthy comment. I didn’t mean to reply with that many words!

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Alison Golden November 23, 2010 at 8:39 pm

Hi Keturah!

Thank you for your comment, I loved reading it 🙂

Your words reminded me of how hard I found it, as I worked my way up the career ladder, traveled, owned my own home, to find suitable men to date with an eye to a long-term relationship. I had to move to America to find one in the end, it was that hard.

And I agree, Kill’em and Wait seem very well suited. Fingers crossed.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope we see you again. (And you leave a nice, long comment 😉

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Gary Jordon November 23, 2010 at 9:32 pm

The royals of course are by just by the royals and aristocracy are nor even vaguely relevant to the rest of us. With the lone exception of them being a member of our species.

That being said It don’t know that if I ever find and get the blessing of having my soul mate that I would have anything to say on dating as I didn’t do a thing in school as a young adult. I didn’t sense any resonance with those around me. That I suspect is more important than all the biology in the world.

Well I wish those snobby upper crusts well. I know I would never in a million years wish to inhabit their slice of the world.

Have a great day.

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Alison Golden November 24, 2010 at 1:32 pm

I wouldn’t mind being royal for a while. See what it’s all about. Whether it is a rather lovely existence or if it’s like what those of us who have no hope of ever living that life tell ourselves, boring, dull and pretentious.

I recently watched a historical/reality TV show where a modern day family (parents were a doctor and a business owner) lived the life of Edwardian aristocracy for three months. They cried when the time was up so I wonder if it is that bad…

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Keturah November 23, 2010 at 9:54 pm

Alison, thanks for you kind response 🙂 I shall stop in often! I really enjoy your blog and am so glad I found it.

I was much encouraged by your comment. I have often, especially lately, thought of relocating to another state or country. Life is hard, but lately it seems to be made of cement.

A fellow T-Tapper (and my great-grandmother was British…who knew we had so much in common 😀 ),
Keturah

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Alison Golden November 24, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Another T-Tapper! Is that how you found the blog?

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Cathy Presland
Twitter:
November 24, 2010 at 1:57 am

Hi Alison,

Not sure the royals inhabit the same universe as the rest of us 😉

They do seem like they are ‘in love’ so good luck to them I say. Although my 15 yo keeps asking me why we tax-payers have to cover the costs of the wedding?? I have no good answer for him other than ‘oh lighten up’. Guess that’s what being 15 is all about!

Sad to hear that surfing is over-rated – I was thinking of taking it up!!

Cathy
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Alison Golden November 24, 2010 at 1:28 pm

Hi Cathy:

They absolutely do not inhabit the same universe. I always say they are like a tribe that live in the middle of the Amazon totally isolated from the rest of mankind.

Surfing? Really?

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Mary E. Ulrich
Twitter:
November 24, 2010 at 4:03 am

Kill’em and Wait–did you make that up? Too funny.

I really don’t care about the royals. But, at least it is a happy story. And good news is good news. I wish them well, I don’t know how they stand the press. I would have eloped, or at least made the wedding plans public only a couple weeks before. I don’t know how they will handle the wait until spring. I actually feel sorry for them.

As for marriage. My husband and I met when I was 19 (only out of the convent for 1 year) and got married 11 days before I turned 21. (My dad actually had to sign for me.) It’s been over 40 years. My husband is my best friend–even though he drives me crazy, but then I drive him crazy too–so it evens out.
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Alison Golden November 24, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Yes, Mary, I made that up. Came to me out of the blue. I’m sure Shakespeare had those kind of moments 🙂 If I was them, I’d be terrified. I only had 4 guests at my wedding and that was just right.

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Galit Breen
Twitter:
November 26, 2010 at 7:31 am

oh allison– love the new look, love the new piece. i didn’t date seriously until a bit later so i can’t really relate either. i take *some* interest in the gossip bit, but not this one for whatever reason? great piece!
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Alison Golden November 26, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Hi Galit:

I don’t think there is any heavy gossip here. Seems pretty straightforward to me. Although why they’ve chosen April, I don’t know. Don’t they know it’ll rain?

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CarolW November 27, 2010 at 2:56 am

I love your blog title and thoroughly enjoyed your post. I gave my son the same advice…don’t date til you’re 30 and don’t have kids! Hubby was 37 when I met himm and I was 28 so i don’t get this marrying your childhood sweetheart at all. If I’d done that i would have ended up with Lord Snooty Snoot and his awful mother! fab to have found you and I am now following you on Twitter and facebook and any other way I can….sounds rather scary but don’t worry I’m too old for stalking. Looking forward to reading more.
Carol from http://www.facing50withhumour.blogspot.com

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CarolW November 27, 2010 at 2:59 am

Why has this computer eaten my last comment? Grrr! New follower here from the UK. Absolutely love the blog and am folowing on Twitter, facebook and by RSS. Childhood sweathearts….hmmm I’m very glad I didn’t marry mine. Lord Snooty Snoot, who is now bald and fat and with an overbearing mother. I agree with your advice and told my son the same…..don’t marry until you are at least thirty and don’t have children! Looking forward to reading more Alison.
Carol from http://www.facing50withhumour.blogspot.com
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Alison Golden November 28, 2010 at 10:53 am

Carol:

I just read your latest post. Is Son following your advice? Thank you for following me. I think we make good blogging pals 🙂 Except I’ve got a few years to go until my kids leave the nest. Until then, I’ll simply hold on tight!

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Walter November 27, 2010 at 5:38 am

You have struck a chord with this Alison. I got married when I was 30. Prior to that age I was exploring and learning. I want to be responsible in choosing the person whom I will spend the rest of my life on. I think 19 is way too early, but I also believe that William was just following a system– for his status. 🙂

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Alison Golden November 28, 2010 at 10:50 am

Hi Walter: I’m with you on the exploring and learning. Some people like to do that with someone by their side but I’m more of a soloist. Thanks for stopping by!

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Quincy November 30, 2010 at 10:03 pm

Personally, I think getting married under the age of 25 would be too young. But, everyone is different and I know quite a few young people who got married out of high school and have hit double-digits in anniversaries.

But, for me, I got married at 30 after dating The Mrs. for almost four years. It took me until 28 to mature enough to know what I wanted in a woman and that she was more than qualified. I’m sure there are plenty of men who mature sooner than 28, but there are twice as many who are 38 and aren’t mature 🙂
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Gary Jordon November 30, 2010 at 10:45 pm

Quincy I wonder is it maturity or having enough undistorted (by the big media and company)self knowledge. I mean for many people me included it takes a while to find out who you are. the schools certainly don’t teach kids how to figure out who they are. On the contrary they are too busy trying to have everyone fit into a one size fits all cookie cutter. If you don’t fit too bad they will make you fit.

This impacts everything that one can think of from livelihood, where to live, what to drive or not drive, and even relationships.

Unfortunately for our younger brothers and sisters most parents are as messed up as their kids. So you really have to be forced into taking a good look at yourself before you even know what you are looking for.

So depending on what you mean by maturity than it might very be a lack of maturity. But I think it’s more likely a lack of honesty and not succumbing to the notions that are alien to your own persona. As each soul incarnates into a unique human body.

Well I’ll go back to my corner now.

P.S. Alison how do you get those smileys on these comments???

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Alison Golden December 2, 2010 at 11:29 am

Gary, you get the smileys by typing a colon followed by a single parenthesis (the one above the zero.) When you hit ‘reply,’ your comment will show up with the smiley face. HTH.

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Alison Golden December 2, 2010 at 11:32 am

Our brains don’t reach their full development until we are 25, then there’s all that learning and processing from experience to go on. There is a lot to do in our twenties. I think your experience sounds just right to me. That’s what I hope my boys will do, Quincy. 🙂

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Gary Jordon December 2, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Allison if that is true about are biological timing I can’t help but wonder how our ancestors managed as well as they did. So maybe we have slowed down the works by all the book learning we insist on doing?

Let’s face one simpe thing it is the girls who choose, not us boys. Which explains all the weird and rude nonsense most guys throw out. I have even seen this in the special ed class I volunteered in that was in a high school setting. It contained nonverbal “low functioning” students. We didn’t have very many girls but the ones we did have seemed to know for the most part what they were looking for and exploring their options. The guys didn’t seem to try (with one exception). So I’m inclined to think that the biology is a reflection of our emphasis on cerebral skills and that the girls our truly the ones in charge.

Oh BTW thanks for the info on the smileys 🙂
Hope that works.

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Alison Golden December 2, 2010 at 8:06 pm

Yes, it worked. And now you know. And good question about our ancestors. Here is an article about the differences in brain maturity between male and female you might gind interesting. http://bit.ly/gxHtpC

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Gary Jordon December 3, 2010 at 6:38 pm

Hi Allison I just read the link you gave me. Very interesting. Seems on the surface to verify my observations. It would also explain why girls are often married to much older men. In ancient Greece for example a 15 or 16 year old girl would be married to some guy as old as 35.

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Alison Golden December 3, 2010 at 7:18 pm

I don’t think that’s due to brain maturity, Gary. More to do with parents marrying off their young, fertile daughters to older men who have had time to acquire the resources needed to secure the survival of children. As their main drive was the survival of the species, it made sense back in ancient times.

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Jill December 20, 2010 at 6:17 pm

I know 2 couples who met and got married at 16. CRAZY! If their parents support it — I suppose go for it. I don’t see why Kate’s parents wouldn’t. William is filthy rich and heir to the throne!!

I wouldn’t much like my child picking their mate at 19, but then you think 100/200 years ago it was so common. I honestly don’t know….I had to kiss many a frog before I found my prince! (like that reference there?) I wish my hubby was my 1st — maybe it’s best for those couples who find their love as a teenager….every situation is different.

I certainly hope my son doesn’t become a daddy until he’s at least secure in stable, well paying job with a home. Or maybe he can find a princess??

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Alison Golden December 23, 2010 at 6:24 pm

16!! Man. How old are they now? You’re a long time married if you take the plunge at 16.

Have a great holiday, Jill! 🙂

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Jill December 23, 2010 at 6:31 pm

they’re my age now. 28. have a few kids. I can’t imagine! I just had my son last year….I think 27 is a great age to start…not 16.

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