What Moms Want, What They Really, Really Want


Full disclosure: I completely ripped this title off from Erica at Northwest Edible Life. (With a nod to the Spice Girls, too.)

Anyhoo, on the Friday before Mother’s Day, what do we moms want, really, really, want, hey?

One friend of mine announced on Facebook that she wants a San Francisco Giants World Championship Tiffany bracelet for Mother’s Day.

And she was going to buy it for herself.

Because she’s worth it.

I really admired her for coming out and saying that.

I like a ballsy attitude and confidence.

How many of us ask for what we want?

Are prepared to go out and get it?

For ourselves, if necessary.

Because we’re worth it.

I remember someone once telling me that her entire family forgot her birthday.

She was pissed.

I don’t blame her but you know what?

Don’t let them forget.

Be assertive. Help them give you what you want.

Because you’re worth it.

I tell my family.

I put a big sign on our family whiteboard that is so large and important it obscures the wonderful view we paid thousands of extra dollars for when we bought the house.

I remind them throughout the month, the week before and the day before.

They have no chance of forgetting.

I don’t want to get angry, and I don’t want them to feel my anger or disappointment or their guilt.

Instead, they plan, they conspire, they delight in surprising me.

Here’s what I would like for Mother’s Day:

A kid planned and prepared brunch

The sandwiches are wonky, the tea often cold. But the love and the details melt my heart. A handwritten menu, flowers picked from the garden, the heart-shaped mutant strawberry left on my plate. I love seeing their pride and excitement at treating me like this.

An afternoon to myself, alone at home

It’s a rare treat to just walk about, tidy up, light some candles, sit peacefully. Read, sew, nap, stare out the window. Bliss.


I used to buy these for myself when I was single. Now I hardly ever do. A few by my bed and in my bathroom would be lovely.

No grocery shopping

I usually grocery shop on Sundays. A day off from that and for someone else to take the load of thinking what to buy would be a fine gift.

A day off from nagging

I hope I’m not a nag but sometimes it feels like it – ‘Have you cleaned your teeth?’ ‘Bathtime!’ ‘Don’t leave your socks there.’ Hmmm, perhaps this one’s a pipedream…

I will write these ideas on our whiteboard. And I’ll draw their attention to it.

As in, ‘I’ve written what I want for Mother’s Day on the board. Let’s all read through the list. Out loud.’

I’m not big on ambiguity.

There’s no chance they could be confused.

They won’t forget.

They’ll be planning and conspiring and shopping and writing.

And whispering and giggling and banning me from the kitchen.

And I’ll be happy and content to feel appreciated.

Because, you know, I’m worth it. 😉


What would you like? A brunch? A handmade gift? A hug? A kiss? Some diamonds? And what can you do to make sure you get it? Let me know in the comments!

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Lisa Liguori
May 6, 2011 at 10:41 pm

I am so with you on this one. I always tell my family what I want. Everyone wins this way.
I have already told my husband and kids that I want to NOT think about any meal planning, nor do any meal prep, do any clean up, nor do any the next day that has accumulated. I scheduled a facial. I want a family walk, some quiet time for a part of the day and a good dinner. I am really looking forward to it!


Alison Golden May 7, 2011 at 7:16 am

I think you last line sums it up, Lisa. When you *tell* them what you want, you get the opportunity to look forward to it. Happy Mothers Day!


Mary E. Ulrich
May 8, 2011 at 4:51 am

You are worth it!

Hope you get all your wishes. Especially like the “no nagging” one. I would expect your young chefs to make one of those cakes with the buttercream icing. YUM–I can almost taste it.

Happy Mother’s Day Alison. You are a great mom.
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Alison Golden May 8, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Hi Mary:

No nagging so far 🙂 They made me brunch with fruit salad, tea, eggs, porridge, and grilled cheese sandwiches! I also got earrings and a warmer to keep my cup of tea warm. Now I’m going for a nap. Good times. I hope your Mothers Day is turning out as well as mine. You are a hero mom. 🙂


Glynis Jolly May 10, 2011 at 7:58 am

I seem to always want the stay at home alone. There’s always so much I want to get done and interruptions are not needed.


Alison Golden May 11, 2011 at 10:15 pm

“…interruptions are not needed.” Love that, Glynis. So true!


Dead Cow Girl May 10, 2011 at 12:13 pm

ZOMG. An afternoon alone in my own house. What to do? What to do? We have lived there a year and the other day I WAS alone in my own house. Briefly. And realized that I’ve only actually been alone in the house about 4 times. In a year and a half.

THAT is what I want.
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Alison Golden May 11, 2011 at 10:16 pm

Yes, I hear ya. My husband works at home so even though the boys are at school I’m rarely alone. Why is it so different though. It’s not like he’s rowdy or making a mess. It’s not like I can’t go to another room. Why is it that just having a person in a house makes *such* a difference?


Jessica May 15, 2011 at 6:48 pm

I did just that for mother’s day. I treated myself like a queen. my 7 year old made me an amazing gift and even though I had a boyfriend, yes, as recently as last Sunday (no more) I still treated myself to things b/c I knew he would not and I got tired of waiting.

I love the spirit of this post. We matter and the most important thing is we matter most to ourselves


Alison Golden May 15, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Good for you, Jessica! I hope you had a great day. And, um, sorry about the boyfriend. 😉


Cathy Presland
March 1, 2012 at 4:49 am

You know that sounds kinda like the day I want (although I’m big on views so I might have positioned the whiteboard in the bathroom…. ;))

The thing that warms my heart the most though is a hand-written letter – not even a card – from my lovely boys. Can’t wait!

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Alison Golden March 1, 2012 at 7:34 am

Hey, Cathy! I agree. I like to have my breakfast made along with flowers cut from the garden and a handwritten menu. Those touches make all the difference.


Jewel May 13, 2012 at 12:10 am

I live in England and our Mother’s Day was back in March. Afer a few years of presents that I hadn’t liked, this year they finally heeded my request for a bunch of flowers and a lie-in but the husband and son ate two of my three chocolates and I had to spend the afternoon with my hand down a drain helping my husband to clear a blockage. So for next years’ mothers day, my only request would be “no drains”.
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Alison Golden May 13, 2012 at 9:55 am

Oh dear. I’ve had a few of those kinds of Mothers Day. When the kids were younger all I wanted was some quiet time alone in the house by myself. Now they’re older and out of the house a lot, I like nothing more than to hear them going about their business (without fighting or making lots of noise) while I do my thing. I hope you had a great Mother’s Day in March. I always have to remember to send my mum some flowers, no card because the cards aren’t available yet in the US at that time, but she’s happy with the flowers.
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