Fourteen Ways Our Laptops Act As Baby Substitutes


A few months ago, I got a shiny, new laptop.

It is silver.

With a half-eaten piece of fruit on the case.

As I opened the box, my face glowed in its reflection. The marketing department had done its job.

And well.

Endorphins flooded my body as I bonded with my newborn, the pain of purchase obliterated by oxytocin.

In the months since, I have noticed a new focus in my life. My personality has changed, my days are spent differently. As my kids grow up and away, a new baby has entered my life.

Goes by the name of Mac.

14 Ways Our Laptops Act As Baby Substitutes:

1. We talk to them.

2. They go everywhere with us.

3. We suffer separation anxiety.

4. We attend to all their strange noises.

5. In a fire, we’d put our photos under one arm and them under the other.

6. They catch viruses that cause all sorts of havoc with our daily lives.

7. They’re the the first thing we check in the morning and the last thing at night.

8. We can’t remember our lives without them. Or how we managed.

9. We dress them up in fancy clothes purchased from Etsy.

10. We carry them everywhere. On our hip.

11. They’re fragile and precious.

12. They keep our laps warm.

13. They keep us up at night.

14. Our lives are never the same again.

What about you? Are you bonded to your communication devices? Find yourself staring at your screen getting a warm, fuzzy glow? Can you think of any more ways our computers substitute as babies? Let me know in the comments!

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Teadrinking Mom October 22, 2010 at 8:03 pm

Oh too true, too true!!!

Mine Mac came arrived very shortly after the birth of my dd – kind of like having twins… 9 months later they get on well most of the time – trying not to read too much into the very purposeful headbut dd launched at the screen this morning.
Teadrinking Mom recently posted..Fall-ing Mama GrizzliesMy Profile


Alison Golden October 22, 2010 at 8:10 pm

Welcome Teadrinking Mom!

Hmm, I think your DD was giving you a hint there. I ‘d keep your eye on both of them, if I was you 🙂


Alison Golden October 22, 2010 at 8:29 pm

I left your post link up because my readers may well be interested in reading your blog.


Mary E. Ulrich
October 23, 2010 at 5:44 am

Alison, you have a great imagination. This is a classic.

I’ve been having trouble with my computer. All of a sudden last night at 2 AM, lights went on, it booted up and noisily made the “la la la” sounds So–to your list you could add, “2 AM cry–doesn’t sleep through the night.”
Mary E. Ulrich recently posted..Technology Act- Just for the Deaf and BlindMy Profile


Alison Golden October 23, 2010 at 10:52 am

Oh no, Mary. Not even the best part of having a baby. At least you can sleep in now though. 🙂


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