‘You can’t make me!’
Slamming doors, throwing toys.
Have you had this?
I know I have.
(And much worse.)
Life in my house was, for a while, like living in a war zone.
I never knew when the bombs were going to go off.
I didn’t know who would show up – Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde.
We lived in a constant state of chaos, confusion and craziness.
We were unhappy, stressed and in despair.
That was a few years ago now.
And life has changed. Immeasurably.
With effort and research and diligence, it is possible to turn things around.
To end the power struggles.
To build the problem solving skills.
And create a happy, secure family unit.
I firmly believe raising kids is a holistic process.
Raising a child isn’t about one particular method, philosophy or practice.
When a kid is out of control, anti-social, abusive at an age when they are old enough to have learned to respect limits, something needs to change.
Some kids are more prone to needing movement, that is without question.
Some kids are more articulate and questioning.
Some have a poorer ability to think about consequences before acting.
And some are simply harder to manage than others.
- When they are breathtakingly disrespectful.
- When you are embarrassed to take them to social occasions.
- When you feel like you are in an abusive relationship.
- Your self-esteem is at rock bottom
- They’re not getting play dates
- You have seen the inside of the principal’s office more times in elementary school than in the whole of your own school career
You need to change.
And you probably need to change a lot.
Sleep, exercise, food, schooling, parenting are the five areas that need to be addressed.
Working on just one of them isn’t enough.
Great parenting will not bring results if the child is chronically tired.
Getting a ton of sleep will not help if their brains are high on MSG, high fructose corn syrup, Red #40 or BHA.
Schooling has to be of the right type to allow them to learn and thrive.
And they need to get enough exercise to reset those brain chemicals, burn off the energy and help the body work optimally.
If these elements aren’t in place and you have an angry, explosive or depressed child, you need to up your game.
“Experts” tell us we only need to be ‘good enough.’
But some of us blessed with kids for whom “good enough” parenting is not good enough.
Some kids demand more of their parents if they are to grow into successful independent adults.
For them, parenting has to be at a level way higher than than is necessary for others.
That’s just the way it is.
It isn’t anyone’s fault.
Not yours, not your child’s, not the school’s, or your in-laws.
It just is. And we have to deal with it.
It’s no good complaining it’s not fair.
We just sound whiny, like the kids we are having trouble bonding with.
When you were a kid, your own parents said to you, ‘Life isn’t fair.’
And it isn’t. It is what it is.
Now, what can you do about it?
Parks were our playground and homeschooling became necessary, reluctantly at first and then enthusiastically, for a while.
But we still weren’t where we needed to be.
And after much searching I came across The Total Transformation Program.
My husband and I were so desperate to get out of this war zone and to a place of calm and stability, that we sat, notebooks at the ready night after night, watching the DVDs.
We had tried many things (except medication,) seen many professionals, read a library of books. Much had helped a little. Or a lot – plain diet, exercise and sleep are prerequisites for any parenting program.
And the The Total Transformation Program helped us a lot.
It was a few number of words that made fireworks go off in our heads and catherine wheels spark and spin.
“Don’t talk to me like that; I don’t like it.” And walk away!
Walk away? You mean, his little, innocent, fragile self-esteem won’t be crushed for ever never to reform? Who knew?
I’m not always crazy about the way The Total Transformation Program is sold – through sponsored blog reviews, infomercials, radio advertising.
It can seem cheesy and yet another exploitative hard sell.
But it does deliver the goods.
As long as you play your part, of course.
This works, not just for your kids, but for you, with your boss, with your family.
So if you have a home that resembles Beirut.
And your child is the terrorist.
If you’re at your wits’ end and close to calling 911 on your child.
If you look ahead with dread and count the years until s/he is out of the home.
And you wonder how you’ll all survive that long.
If you are contemplating using college money for professional help because if you don’t you’ll be using it for bail bonds.
If you’re researching wilderness camps and military school.
Fix your kids’ diet, get them outside, send them to bed early. Then get this program and do some heavy lifting.
You’ll learn many things, among them, ‘You don’t have to attend every argument, you’re invited to.”
Have you experienced this kind of thing? What worked for you? And would you call the cops on your kid? Let me know in the comments!